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3 TIPS TO CONQUER A WEEK: How to experience successful living?

It’s the way of doing things, the consistent action of living your life not in a correct manner that makes productivity habits hard to pursue. It’s not hard to know what it takes to be successful. But, it is hard to live it.

First things first!

Define success.

Success can mean different to different people. Some people want a fast-paced life; doing lots of things, getting many things done.

While others want a slower-paced life. And, there is no right and wrong in how someone feels comfortable living his way. So every shape and size of success is acceptable as far as it serves you fulfillment.

The common mistake that everyone makes when we were younger is to aim for a version of success that is not your own. Such as a version of success that is imposed on you by your parents, society, or peers. You follow this path only because you think, what you have been told to do is ideal.

What you need to know is that you can’t judge your version of success against another person’s version of success. No one is better than the other. We all want different things. We should not judge what other people want.

One last thing you need to get clarity about success is that you need to learn the difference between external success and internal success.
External success is appearing successful on the outside like; you have the money, material things, friends, family everything on the outside.
And, then internal success is feeling successful on the inside.

When it comes to prioritizing success, internal success is so much more important. Obviously, they go hand in hand.
However, as you have to get things done in the external world to validate things that, how you feel about things but as you are achieving things in the outside world I want you to remember that it is more important to feel successful on the inside; to feel proud of yourself, to feel happy.

Because this is where your true success lies. You may have all the external success but, you might not have the internal success enough to feel good about yourself.

3 TIPS TO CONQUER A WEEK

1. Learn to be in control of your mindset

One of the most important things you could for yourself to learn is to manage your mind.

This means, you are actually the one in control of your thoughts and you could decide which thoughts to feed.

And, which thoughts you would be just like, ‘I see you, but I would let you go’ not taking then so seriously.

Learning to manage your mind is to essentially learn tactics like having a positive mindset, learning to change your perspective on things, testing different perspectives so that you could see a situation from all angles.

2.  Learn to change your self-talk

It is becoming aware of negative thoughts that you might be saying to yourself because we can be really mean to ourselves in our minds.

Deciding, what positive self-talk would you rather invite into your life; would you rather give more time and energy into instead of putting all of your energy into putting yourself down?

Believe in your vision. This is where lot of people struggle in the beginning because how can you believe in yourself if you have nothing to prove.

That is where faith comes in. You have to fake it until you make it!

3. Follow your intuition

You have an inner voice that is telling you what it wants. And, it’s up to you whether you want to listen to them or not.

Each of us has that inner compass that is directing us where we are meant to go. Unfortunately, we choose to ignore it and unintentionally don’t hear it.

Learn to develop your relationship with your inner self so that you could hear yourself; what you want, where you want to go, what is exciting to you, what are you curious about. This is the voice, you have to follow, you have to listen to it.

If you just follow what other people tell you, you are going to be led astray, as they don’t hear what you are hearing within.

Although everybody guides you out of love; it’s okay to take people’s advice, but know that, deep down, you have the answers within.

The beautiful thing is that you can actually start feeling successful right now because all it is is about feeling; feeling to look back and be proud of yourself for whatever you have done, grown, passed through. And, this feeling helps you perpetuate the external, material success which helps you boost your confidence, which is the internal feeling. It’s all about the positive psyche that helps you go on and on.

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3 Major things school does not teach you but books do.

School is a learning hub for every one of us in the most precious times of our life, the growing age of our life.

Have you ever thought of things that school has not taught you?

There are many things that we learn from school. Unfortunately, there are enormous relevant moreover crucial concepts of life which school doesn’t put any effort in teaching.

Fortunately, we do have something which could teach us everything that school doesn’t teach us. And, that is BOOKS.

Here are the 3 major things the school doesn’t teach us but books do.

#1 Letting small bad things happen

Letting small bad things happen is alike learning to make small mistakes. I adore the suggestion of developing the habit of letting small bad things happen otherwise you won’t get time for life-changing big things.

And, in school from a very young age, we are being taught clearly to get done even the small things very very well. And, the small Mistakes could charge you a negative point.

Remember, how we all use to get that extra start or a plus grade as a reward for not performing the tiniest mistake. And, we were told that getting everything right and perfect could only lead us to “reward”.

We were taught in school that by making mistakes we could get universally wrong and making mistakes is like something that should be immediately changed.

While I believe that this is a very wrong way to approach life. And, books have a kind of much healthier view regarding the lessons and influences that you could gain from making mistakes.

I think you have a very safe environment within a book to see how characters mess up their lives and do all these terrible things. Books make us comfortable with the fact that no one is a perfectionist not even the main character of the story.

You’ll  be moved by the thought that, ‘ any fool can learn from their own experience it’s ain’t the smart ones that can learn from other people’s experiences.’

Through books, it is a way you are testing yourselves and putting your brains through experiences without having to do them on your own. And, more importantly than all we are kind of shown that when other people make mistakes they are accepted, they are fine, somehow they find situations working out for them in long term.

While in school this is a behaviour that is never encouraged, accepted or kind of presented in any sort of positive trait in anyone of us.

#2 Emotional intelligence

What I mean by emotional intelligence particularly is that I find it so funny how no one expects us to discover the theories we study in academic books. Everyone expects us to accept the things, teachings already done and carry them forward in our learnings from generation to generation.

However, when it comes to emotional intelligence when it comes to being understanding the consequence of trauma, understanding our insecurities, or understanding different types of attachments in a certain way we could process our feelings and think about the world we are expected to do so.

And, all this emotional stuff is potentially the biggest thing happening in our lives and is never even touched in school at all.

What happens is: we all are brought into the world, shoved into social situations and left to deal with people without any sort of expertise and experience from people in the past.

We have never been taught in school how to kind of make sense of what’s going on in our brain.

It is so disappointing to acknowledge in our grown-up phase of life that when in school we could be expected capable enough to understand theories, concepts, different languages, ethics, discipline then how we could have not been smart enough to understand that ‘how to deal with our feelings and emotions.’

However, by reading books you can read about the inner psychology of characters and how they grow and how they change, and how that evolves in different situations in their lives.

#3 Letting go of your beliefs

Books make it easier to learn because they help you to let go of your belief.

As Richard Feynman said something along the lines of “I have no beliefs because beliefs get in the way of learning.”

And, I thoroughly believe in his thought. We all have beliefs and school is in the business of giving us beliefs and thoughts about how the world works and how things work but that does set us in a very rigid mindset.

I don’t think that schools do a good job of kind of helping us think outside of the box or letting us question our values and beliefs.

While by reading a book you are put into the perspective of the character or the author, who is completely different and you go through the whole book with a completely different mindset. And therefore therefrom you are unintentionally receptive and open to learning new things, new beliefs.

Those were the 3 major things which school doesn’t teach us but books do.

Everyone has their own experiences you would know better what you were not being taught in school. Do what works for you but do read more books to be wiser and have a better insight to deal with your feelings and emotions.

#65 Q. How to not get provoked? #365daysofsoulsearching

This is another question of the 365-day challenge. After replying to these 365 questions on soul-searching you would certainly come out decisive, confident, and much more hopeful with yourself than ever before. And, I will help you to know yourself more every single day for the next 365 days.

WHAT IS SOUL-SEARCHING?

What does “soul-searching” accomplishes? Where do you end up with it? It is digging deep and focusing on oneself to lead a contented life. Because, soul-searching could create a visualization of your much achievable future by giving you an insight of what one is today, in the present.

“A situation does not attract any misfortune of life. It’s the way you perceive the solution does.” And, this is where “soul-searching” backs you with.

ANSWER THIS #65 QUESTION

#65 question
How someone could entice (provoke) you?

Know! Your weakness, the other person using for their benefit.

“You could be considered weak only when the world begins to use your insecurity in their favor.”

– Farheen Dhanjal

How to not get provoked?

Unfortunately, provocation has not been categorized as any feeling or emotion. Provocation is an emotion of a person who practices it, not of the person who gets proved by it.

Because provocation is the most expressive way, how someone reflects his insecurities upon the world.

Provocation is a practice by people, who:
– Possess the skill to pretend.
– Love to demean others’ emotions.
– Are unable to control their emotions which lead to playing with others’ emotions.

Provocation is a very serious drawback of anyone’s behavior because by provoking, the person is:
– Outcasting his own weaknesses, and
– Getting distracted from rather improvising his emotional dealing.

Provocation initially affects the person who gets provoked but for a short period. But, provocation affects the person who provokes for life long because:
– he doesn’t know how to deal with his own insecurities,
– not everyone gets provoked, and
– What if he came across a more skilled provoker than him.

We can always control our actions, choices and reactions. But when someone provokes you it certainly becomes impossible to deal with a toxic person as well as the situation.

So, don’t try to beat a provoker else you will also end up being the one. Instead, learn to be conscious enough to know:
– Who is provoking you?
– How to control your reaction.
– How not to get influenced by a provoker.

Because once you get provoked you would be held at fault first and then the provoker.

CONTENTS OF THE QUESTION

Each question would consist of 3 parts:
Part 1: QUESTION – It would determine the path of knowing you as an individual.

Part 2: KNOW – It would let you know what you learned about yourself.

Part 3: QUOTE – It would depict the righteous approach to the concept being asked in the question.

HOW TO PRACTICE THIS ACTIVITY?

You just have to reply to Part 1, and just read, learn and reflect on Part 2 and 3.

Grab a pen & paper and start writing your reply. Remember! Nothing is tough when it comes to doing it for yourself. And, you just need to be truthful to yourself.

Feel free to share.

Happy “soul-searching”

#64 Q. HOW TO PRACTICE GRATITUDE THE RIGHT WAY? #365daysofsoulsearching

This is another question of the 365-day challenge. After replying to these 365 questions on soul-searching you would certainly come out decisive, confident, and much more hopeful with yourself than ever before. And, I will help you to know yourself more every single day for the next 365 days.

WHAT IS SOUL-SEARCHING?
What does “soul-searching” accomplishes? Where do you end up with it? It is digging deep and focusing on oneself to lead a contented life. Because, soul-searching could create a visualization of your much achievable future by giving you an insight of what one is today, in the present.

“A situation does not attract any misfortune of life. It’s the way you perceive the solution does.” And, this is where “soul-searching” backs you with.

ANSWER THIS #64 QUESTION

#64 question
What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of being thankful?

Know! There is no such time when you would not have literally anything to be grateful for

“Gratitude for your blessings should never fall short. Because the blessings could never fall short.”

-Farheen Dhanjal

HOW TO PRACTICE GRATITUDE THE RIGHT WAY?

Gratitude is the easiest way to feel fulfilled. As you get to count on your blessings this way.

It’s been recommended to practice gratitude when you begin complaining about your life situations, hardships, and people as well.
But, I believe that it becomes more difficult and less genuine when we have to practice gratitude at such times.

Another, very profound way to practice gratitude is to maintain a gratitude journal either for mornings or evenings, basically once a day. But, this way:
– You may be obliged (or bound) to count your blessings, or
– You may forget the listed blessings the very next day or anytime you come across any trouble.

If you want to justify the practice of gratitude:
Step 1:  Have a perception to conceive a situation happening to you for something good.
Step 2: Jot down your blessings, the time it happens.
Step 3: Make a habit of reflecting upon your listed blessings after a fixed interval to feel blessed for having them by your side.

To practice, any productivity activity learns to find the ground level or behind-the-scene work it wants you to be firstly prepared enough to get going with the actual work with sheer genuineness and authenticity.

That’s why it’s more important to know:
– Why be grateful?
– When to be grateful?
– How to be grateful?

CONTENTS OF THE QUESTION

Each question would consist of 3 parts:
Part 1: QUESTION – It would determine the path of knowing you as an individual.

Part 2: KNOW – It would let you know what you learned about yourself.

Part 3: QUOTE – It would depict the righteous approach to the concept being asked in the question.

HOW TO PRACTICE THIS ACTIVITY?

You just have to reply to Part 1, and just read, learn and reflect on Part 2 and 3.

Grab a pen & paper and start writing your reply. Remember! Nothing is tough when it comes to doing it for yourself. And, you just need to be truthful to yourself.

Feel free to share.

Happy “soul-searching”

Book summary: BIG MAGIC by Elizabeth Gilbert

Creating Living Beyond Fear

Great way to become anything that calls to your heart and brings you to life:
Practice it as an act of devotion, love, lifelong commitment to the search grace, and transcendence.

Who may read?

The wisdom and unique perspective in this book could be read by all age groups and from all walks of life.
Whether you are looking to write a book, make art, find new ways to address challenges in your work, simply infuse your every day with more mindfulness and passion.
BIG MAGIC open’s a world of wonder and joy.

5 key definitions related to creativity from the book

#1 Q. What is creative living?
We are all walking repositories of buried treasure. The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see them if we can find them. The hind of uncovering those is creative living.
And, surprising results of that hunt is what BIG MAGIC.

#2Q. What is inspiration?
An intensely emotional and physiological reaction, call it by name: inspiration.

#3Q. What is an idea?
– Ideas are a disembodied, energetic life-form.
– They are completely separate from us but capable of interacting with us – albeit strangely.
– Ideas have no material body, but they accomplish have consciousness and they most certainly have a will.
– Ideas are driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest.
– The only way an idea can be made manifest in our world is through collaboration with a human partner.
– It is only through a human’s efforts that an idea can be escorted out of the ether and into the realm of the actual.

#4Q. What is creative entitlement?
Creative entitlement doesn’t mean behaving like a princess or acting as though the world owes you anything whatsoever.
No, creative entitlement simply means believing that you are allowed to be here, and that- merely by being here- you are allowed to have a voice and a vision of your own.

#5Q. What is pure creativity?
It is magnificent expressly because it is the opposite of everything else in life that’s essential or inescapable. It’s something better than a necessity; it’s a gift.

12 quotes on creativity from the book.

1.  “We must have the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless furnace of this world. Without the bravery, you would ever be able to realize the valuation scope of your own capacities.” – Jack Gilbert

2. Argue for limitations and you get to keep them.- saying
(Ask yourself what do you want to do with your life: Do you have the strength to bring forth this work?)

3. “Something unknown is doing we don’t know what.” – Sir Arthur Eddington
(I don’t need to know what)

4. “The best place to pitch a tent will always be the spot marked NO CAMPING.” – Elizabeth Gilbert’s father

5. “Ascend no longer from the textbook!” – Walt Whitman
( there are many ways to learn that do not necessarily involve schoolrooms)

6. “Peple’s judgment ain’t what they call you; it’s what you answer to.” – W.C. Fields

7. “Do what nature demands. Get a move on – if you and don’t worry whether anyone will give you credit for it. And don’t get expecting Plato’s Republic; be satisfied with even the smallest progress, and treat the outcome of it all as unimportant” – Marcus Aurelius

8. “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you don’t bring forth what is within you, what you don’t bring forth will destroy you.”- Gospel of Thomas

9. ” A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” – General George Patton

10. “The feelings of desperation and unhappiness are more useful to an artist than the feeling of contentment because desperation and unhappiness stretch your whole sensibility.” – Francis Bacon

11. ” Any artist who is an alcoholic is an artist despite their alcoholism, not because of it.” – Raymond Carver

12. ” Don’t rush through the experience and circumstances that have the most capacity to transform you.” – Pastor Rob Bell

Major teachings from the book

– Why does fear is boring?
Your dreams and perspectives and aspirations within you are original. But your fear is not original.

– Bravery v Fearlessness
Bravery means doing something scary.
Fearlessness means not even understanding what the word scary means.
You absolutely do need your fear. But you do not need your fear in the realm of creative expression.

– You have hidden treasures hidden within you.
Bringing those treasures to light takes work and faith and focus and courage and hours of devotion.

– Why do we decline inspirations?
Mostly, due to invitation out of laziness, angst, insecurity, or petulant.
But other times you might need to say no to an idea because it is truly not the right moment, or because you’re already engaged in a different project, or because you’re certain that this particular idea has accidentally knocked on the wrong door.

– What to do when you say “yes” to an idea?
You have officially entered into a contract with inspiration, and you must try to see it through, all the way to its impossible-to-predict outcome.

– What would happen if you neglect an idea?
The neglected idea would do what many self-respecting living entities would do in the same circumstance: it hit the road.
If inspiration is allowed to unexpectedly enter you, it is also allowed to unexpectedly exit you.

– You can receive your ideas with respect and curiosity, not with drama and dread. By:
– you can support other people in their creative efforts.
– you can measure your worth by your dedication to your path
– you can believe that you are neither a slave to inspiration nor its master, but something far more interesting-its partner.
– you might earn a living with your pursuits or you might not, but you can recognize that this is that point point
– you can thank creative for having blessed you with a charmed, interesting, passionate existence.

– Do you want to defend yourself as a creative person?
Stand up tall and say it aloud, whatever you are.

– When you are afraid that ‘your creative work has already been done?
Most things have already been done but they have not yet been done by you. But once you put your own expression and passion behind an idea, that idea becomes yours.
If it’s authentic enough-it will feel original.

– Be careful about safeguarding your future but also about safeguarding your sanity.
Free yourself so that you can live and create more freely, as you were designed by nature to do.

– Appreciates being appreciated
Inspiration will overhead your pleasure, and it will send ideas to your food as a reward for your enthusiasm and your loyalty.

– If you want to live a contented creative life.
Say;” My creative expression must be the most important thing in the world to me and it is also must not matter at all.

– When can you start pursuing your most creative and passionate life?
You can start whenever you decide to start. Because your education isn’t over when they say it’s over, you

– Creative living is always possible
The essential ingredients for creativity remain exactly the same for everybody: courage, enchantment, permission, persistence, trust – and those elements are universally accessible.

– Fake it till you make it.
Seduce the big magic and it will always come back to you -the same way a raven is captivated by a shiny, spinning thing.

– Forget about perfection.
Perfect is not only the enemy of the good; it’s also the enemy of the realistic, the possible, and the fun.

– Create whatever you want to create
Nobody is thinking about you. Let it be stupendously imperfect because it’s exceedingly likely that nobody will even notice.

– Definition of success.
Conventional success would depend upon three factors – talent, luck, and discipline.

– Concept of devotional discipline
Do what you live to do, and do it with both seriousness and lightness.

– The world is a place of deep unfairness
It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Talent means nothing, connections mean everything, and the world of creativity -like the greater world itself- is a mean and unfair place.

– You must never surrender.
“No” doesn’t always mean no, and that miraculous turn, of fate, can happen to those who persist in showing up.

– Creativity wants a relationship with you.
Think about it: If the only thing an idea wants is to be made manifest, then why would that idea deliberately harm you, when you are the one who might be able to bring it forth?
Nature provides the seed; man provides the garden; each is grateful for the others’ help)

– Your creative work is not your baby; if anything, you are its baby.
You are who you are today precisely because of what you have made and what your creativity has made you into.

– Stop preaching of the passion
Forget about passion. Don’t sit around waiting for passion to strike you.
Because it is our privilege as humans to keep making things for as long as we live.

– Passion v curiosity
Passion can seem intimidating out of reach at times.
Curiosity is a milder, quieter, more welcoming,  and more democratic entity.

– If you can’t do what you long to do, go do something else. Do something. Do anything.
You might think it’s procrastination but with the right intention- it isn’t; it’s motion. And any motion whatsoever beats inertia because inspiration will always be drawn to motion.

One line conclusion to the book

Only when you are at your most playful can divinity finally get serious with you.

3 TIPS TO CONQUER A WEEK: HOW TO EASILY BE PRODUCTIVE?

There are 100s of productivity tips out there whether they are energy management, time management, efficiency tools, methods, and even software.

There is a huge community for showing you the ways that maximize your output, the quality of your work, and the efficiency of your schedule.

Unfortunately, nothing is going to work out until you would know the ‘behind-the-scene’ hustle of getting prepared enough to get started with any of the productivity techniques.

To answer your question of, ‘how to easily be productive ?’ You need to do some behind-the-scene preparations.

Declutter- Align – Focus

The overbearing mollycoddling of ourselves, which is our comfort zone creates fragility. It creates weakness, not strength.

Be honest with yourself and answer:
– Are you still reflecting on your life while being in your comfort zone?
– How much do you try daily to get out of your comfort zone?
– How many times you have put off the traps to get into the growth mindset by rescinding your comfort zone?

To come out of your comfort zone this week I have discussed some ground-level techniques you need to learn and live to conquer your week.

3 tips to conquer your week

1. It’s time to move – Awake on the old

Your awakening is a process of letting go of the old to allow in the new. It sounds easy.

But…
Unfortunately, when the time comes for us let go of something:
– We find letting go not an appropriate option, or
– We find ourselves ready to let go of it.
– We find ourselves looking for ways to attach ourselves to that thing, forcefully.

Signs, you need to awake it’s quite old, no longer productive, and you should move on:
– You suspect that it’s time to move on.
– There would be an evident distance between you and that, something you need to let go of.
– Your vibrations or energies with that something or someone begin getting an essence of the clash.
– You visualize the incompatibility.
– You know that ‘holding on’ would keep you from progressing.

When you have so many reasons to let go. Why do you want to hold on to something which has ultimately begun creating doubt for its existence in your life?

If you experience any or all of these signs accept that you are ready. And, the “but”, the guilt of holding on would serve you with nothing later on.

2. Realign with your intention

A lot of times I have seen lots of people asking the question; ‘what is alignment?’
When you are in alignment things just happen organically, and manifestation even becomes instant to attract.

Being in alignment is a connection between your lower self (our outer part, the physical being) and your higher self (the inner self, who you are). It is a very specific feeling that you tap into.

You become aligned by going in the direction of your happiness and feeling of high vibration. In your life go after those feelings, go after those joyous experiences. Because anything that raises your vibration snaps you back into the alignment.

The thing about alignment is when you have the lower, negative things happening to you, you don’t react promptly. Like:
– How this could happen to me?
– The law of Attraction doesn’t work!
– Spirituality is nothing!
– Raising vibration is just a thing!

But…
You won’t feel this way when you are in alignment with yourself. And, then when you see any negative thing happening to you.
– You would acknowledge the situation in its real sense.
– You remove the reaction and you become the observer.
– You would know why something happened to you.
– You would sense the sources of the situations happening to you.

The ability to align your in the moment intentions to longer-term goals allows you to:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/tonygambill/2021/07/27/the-powerful-combination-of-aligned-goals-and-intentions/?sh=e02ece9813e9

– Shift the focus off barriers and towards what you hope to achieve
– Choose actions that represent your values
– Live in harmony with your larger purpose
– Not react to temporary negative emotions

3. What’s your focus?

Distractions would truly destroy your potential, waste your time, would lead you to a feeling of stress, anxiety, and pressure.

But…
When you choose a roadmap to genuinely and deeply follow your intent to focus you eventually start to seek productivity, effectiveness, and most importantly raised vibration and energies of yours.

Focus is not just being productive and how to win over life. But, the focus is achieving productivity with grace happiness, and fulfillment.

4 ways to focus to teach lead your mind to focus:
# concentrate on the matter, not the pressure.
# put reminders of your life purpose around you, all over your space
# visualize your best self and take actions to be there.
# use free time to prepare yourself for tomorrow.

Staying committed to a central task can be greatly beneficial in the workplace. No matter the industry you work in, increasing your attention span can propel your professional success. Here are four benefits of being focused:
https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/ways-to-improve-focus

Those were the 3 behind-the-scene jobs you need to do to make productivity an easy job.

How to let go of what people think of you? 3 Reasons why to let it go.

I was one of the biggest perfectionists and people pleasers out there. And, this brought a downfall in that part of my life. When I was younger I was always that kinda person who would mould her mood, presence, and existence to make the other person feel comfortable.

I was known for being a very polite, soft-spoken, and compassionate person. And, this expectation absolutely didn’t worked out for me. It became difficult for me to disappoint others’ expectations at the cost of disappointing my own expectations from myself.

But, the thing is this process which I definitely stopped going through has been one of the most liberating and amazing parts of my life. As it made me realize that it feels so much less obliged by letting go of what people think.

Just as Abraham Lincoln famously observed, “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time”, this is also true of trying to please people. You are never going to please people all of the time, regardless of what you do. Even as we journey along the path of making ourselves to be the best possible version of who we are, we will still encounter people that our actions will not please. Invariably the best way is to please ourselves. https://destinationdeluxe.com/let-go-of-what-others-think-of-you/

Here, are the 3 reasons that got me from being the biggest people pleasers and getting on the path of letting go of what people think about you.

1. If you are not going to live your life for yourself who else is going to live it for you?

It feels so funny as well as weird that how could we not gather the courage to pursue something that we really want to do just because we are bothered about what people would think.

Admit to yourself that it is you who want to do something for yourself which actually matters more than anyone’s opinion, suggestion, or judgment.

It is really sad and depressing to not allow yourself to not want things, to not try things, to not doing things just being you want them to happen.

Think about this:
If I am not going to follow my passion, who is going to do it for me?

Realizing this, and this is something that I keep on reminding myself all the time that I actually don’t need anyone’s permission, approval, or criticism regarding what I want to pursue to feel fulfilled on my part.

2. It is not your responsibility to live up to people’s expectations of you.

If I have not promised to deliver on something it is not my fault if I don’t do it and someone expects me to do it.

There are 2 kinds of expectations that people would hold on to you:
I. What are you going to be or do for yourself in your life?
II. What is that something you are going to do for them?

Both ways you are not obliged or anyways accountable to meet their expectations simply because your biggest commitment lies towards you. And, there is nothing like implied commitments which you have to meet towards anyone out there.

Here are some indicators that the opinions of others might be harmful to you and your mental health: https://psychcentral.com/blog/mental-shifts-to-stop-caring-what-people-think-of-you#signs

– You change yourself in response to criticism, regardless of what it is and who it comes from.
– You let other people make decisions for you.
– You don’t set or maintain boundaries.
– You’re a perfectionist.
– You hold your tongue if your opinion differs from everyone else’s.
– Your peace of mind relies on approval from others.
– You’re constantly apologizing, even when you did nothing wrong.
– You rarely say “no.”

3. Carrying self-doubt and caring about what people think is not something that necessarily needs to go away.

It’s not possible that I could sit down and train myself to actually stop carrying about things. And, suddenly become a highly extroverted and confident person. That’s not necessarily going to happen.

But, actually, this is not what most people do anyway. It’s not about being an extrovert, as they shut off that part of their brain that keeps on putting a reminder to feel nervous, anxious, and uncomfortable to get started with something new. And, they do their thing anyway.

And, this is what I do a lot of the time. I just consciously choose to not care about the parts of my brain, which are screaming; ‘oh my God my work is not perfect, ‘oh my god what would people think of me’, ‘why am I putting my flaws out there in the world.’

That part of my brain is still there where it needs to be. But, I consciously ignore it and don’t let it dominate or overshadow my capabilities.

And, the best experiences I have ever got in my life are from combating such meaningless thoughts in my head. I just don’t listen to them and do the thing anyway.

I have admitted that the self-doubt thoughts would only get quieter, probably never going to leave. It’s just me who doesn’t need to give attention to them. And, I can enjoy my life this way nothing the less.

So those were the 3 frameworks I use to be a bit more confident in myself and to stop carrying as much as about what people think of me.

#63 Q. How to stop complicating our life? #365daysofsoulsearching

This is the another question of the 365 day challenge. After replying to these 365 question on soul-searching you would certainly come out decisive, confident, and much more hopeful with yourself than ever before. And, I will help you to know yourself more every single day for the next 365 days.

WHAT IS SOUL-SEARCHING?

What does “soul-searching” accomplishes? Where do you end up with it? It is digging deep and focusing on oneself to lead a contended life. Because, soul-searching could create a visualization of your much achievable future by giving you an insight of what one is today, in the present.

“A situation does not attract any misfortune of life. It’s the way you perceive the solution does.” And, this is where “soul-searching” backs you with.

ANSWER THIS #63 QUESTION

#63 question
What do you keep to yourself and don’t let it out?

Know! What is complicating your life?

“Life becomes easy with open thoughts and expressive outlook.”

– Farheen Dhanjal

How to stop complicating our life?

Look, life is crazy sometimes. I get it. We all have that craving to control things because it makes us feel better about all that chaos. By focusing your energy on the things you can control, you spare yourself from wasted time and energy trying to control things you have no influence over. https://www.lifehack.org/884065/stop-complicating-life

Sometimes we get in our way. We ignore gods calling on our lives. Because we are fearful or because we just don’t know from where to begin.

Imposter Syndrome is something when we have that little voice in our head that makes us feel like we are imposing ourselves someway.

Experiencing that, ‘maybe other people can do that but not me’; asking ourselves,’ who do you think you are’ or ‘why do you think that you are the one who could do that’ could be demeaning towards yourself.

I think we should work on being conscious about what we think and our thoughts. And, try to have a word with ourselves.

To hamper the mode of attracting fewer complications in your life you need to change some of your perceptions:
– I don’t have time!
– I can do more!
– I’m less than them!

It is very important to understand that it is very important to nurture yourself first to nurture others.

CONTENTS OF THE QUESTION

Each question would consist of 3 parts:
Part 1: QUESTION – It would determine the path of knowing you as an individual.

Part 2: KNOW – It would let you know what you learned about yourself.

Part 3: QUOTE – It would depict the righteous approach to the concept being asked in the question.

HOW TO PRACTICE THIS ACTIVITY?

You just have to reply to Part 1, and just read, learn and reflect on Part 2 and 3.

Grab a pen & paper and start writing your reply. Remember! Nothing is tough when it comes to doing it for yourself. And, you just need to be truthful to yourself.

Feel free to share.

Happy “soul-searching” 

#62 Q. Why to stop helping others? #365daysofsoulsearching

This is the another question of the 365 day challenge. After replying to these 365 question on soul-searching you would certainly come out decisive, confident, and much more hopeful with yourself than ever before. And, I will help you to know yourself more every single day for the next 365 days.

WHAT IS SOUL-SEARCHING?

What does “soul-searching” accomplishes? Where do you end up with it? It is digging deep and focusing on oneself to lead a contended life. Because, soul-searching could create a visualization of your much achievable future by giving you an insight of what one is today, in the present.

“A situation does not attract any misfortune of life. It’s the way you perceive the solution does.” And, this is where “soul-searching”backs you with.

ANSWER THIS #62 QUESTION

#62 question
Which condition do you check before you help someone?

Know! What does “needy” mean to you?

“One of the phases of the offender is facing repercussions of his misdeeds. Don’t mistake him with a needy.”

-Farheen Dhanjal

Why to stop helping others?

Not everything is bad. Same as, not everything is good. There is the good in bad. And there is the bad in good. It’s not necessarily the worst idea to help people. But it’s also neither a great one. https://observer.com/2015/12/why-i-stopped-helping-people-and-you-should-too/amp/

Helping is a kind job, undoubtedly. But the kindness you gather out of your soul to invest in someone else is way more precious to make acknowledge the person, in whom you are about to invest your compassion.

I thoroughly agree that it is not that person’s fault who undergo suffering. At times it’s you who over emphasize a person’s situation on your own in your mind.

You could know that whether you are being kind at a genuine person or not by acknowledging that the person, suffering is further making how many people sufferer out there.

Not helping is a very controversial concept. However, not helping a wrong person throughs light upon the actual issue.

If you think that helping wrong person doesn’t matter because you are doing good at your part. And, this is all what matters. You absolutely wrong!

If you are backing a wrong person even with kindness you are equally responsible for making suffer all those people who are facing troubles created by the person you are serving with compassion.

Compassion is a very powerful backing. It can uplift a person unexpectedly. And, that’s why your compassion towards a right person could work wonders and towards a wrong person can create disaster.

CONTENTS OF THE QUESTION

Each question would consist of 3 parts:
Part 1: QUESTION – It would determine the path of knowing you as an individual.

Part 2: KNOW – It would let you know what you learned about yourself.

Part 3: QUOTE – It would depict the righteous approach to the concept being asked in the question.

HOW TO PRACTICE THIS ACTIVITY?

You just have to reply to Part 1, and just read, learn and reflect on Part 2 and 3.

Grab a pen & paper and start writing your reply. Remember! Nothing is tough when it comes to doing it for yourself. And, you just need to be truthful to yourself.

Feel free to share.

Happy “soul-searching” 

How to stop being hard on yourself? 7 tips to deal with your self-criticism

This is something many of you would relate to. And, this is what I personally still struggle with because I tend to work my better version delicately every single day, I like to reach out to the target, to be an achiever.

But it becomes negative when you need it so bad that this unnecessary pressure turns out to be a negative force in your life. It starts to bring you down and undoubtedly stop providing any kind of service to you.

Our outer world is a reflection of what’s going on within us because we project our own thoughts and feelings onto other people and events. We give it our own meaning. Remember, we can’t change other people, the past, or circumstances out of our control. All we can change is ourselves. Shift your focus back onto yourself and realize that you have the power to change your life. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/stop-being-hard-on-yourself-5-tips-for-learning-life-lessons/

How to stop being hard on yourself?

Firstly, self-criticism happens when you feel like you are not super productive, not giving your 100%, not feeling bad about not being on a growth pace. And, this is what puts that unnecessary guilt on yourself.
For example: if you went on a trip. Once, you are back you feel overwhelmed by all the words you had put off or put on hold for a while.

Secondly, it is so easy for all of us to get distracted by the highlights of the real-life we tend to see on social media. We all feel losing the game of social media at least in one aspect of our life.

This is one among many such reasons which make you beat yourself despite performing quite well in your life.

The reality check is:
Nobody is always gaining, winning, super productive, happy, joyous, supported, appreciated, being promoted, feeling like a show stopper.

It’s just that self-imposed judgment that you should be perfect and growing all the time which keep you from appreciating yourself and make you criticise yourself.

7 tips to deal with your self-criticism

1. Remember! We are our worst critic

Usually, you are the only to you whose criticism should mean something to you until you start being someone who only sees your flaws.

You should not be the one who emphasizes your flaws and blow them like a gigantic thing to deal with.

The solution sits with half in realizing that it’s ok to have a biased perspective about yourself. Because, if you become the destructive critic you could be hard on yourself, unnecessarily

And the other half is in realizing that the other people around you are also not perfect. They are also going through some struggles. Of course, everyone has their own stories and battles to fight with.

Learn to not judge yourself, not judge others. We could all be much happier if we judge less.

2. Understand! You have cycles in your life.

We all go through a cycle of ups and downs. You could have a cold stagnating winter as well as a warm growing summer.

Like earth, you also go through seasons of shedding, budding growing, and blooming.

Honour and embrace the cycles that you are not always going to be super productive, super creative, super amazing all the time. Because that would be like summer all the time.

You have to understand that you have the ups and downs of life. You are going to have the times to be slower to reflect upon yourself. And, kinda take rest a little bit before you show your better version to the world out there.

Understanding this concept is like digging deep into the notion of getting continuously with a cycle of taking birth from the cocoon to growing bigger, larger, and beautiful into a butterfly again and again.

Be honest to embrace the low points in your life as you embrace the high points in your life. Acknowledge that it is all-natural.

3.  Ask yourself? What do I have now that I once wished for?

It’s simply remembering that you have achieved something in your life, you have things now that you have once dreamed of having.

By accepting your achievement in this present moment of your life you could build belief in yourself to visualize things today that you wish to possess in the future.

This practice is to remind yourself that you have already accomplished things that you could be proud of. And, you do possess the potential to achieve more because you already have a precedent set for that.

This would help you realize how far you have already come in your life. Everything you have today you never had before. So, there is a big probability of achieving what you don’t have today.

When you focus on the wins, victories you have, it would eventually boost your self-confidence, mood, enthusiasm, zeal, and energies to get going.

A sense of being proud of your accomplishments could make you realize that there is no need to be hard on yourself, there is no need to be your worst self-critic. If you keep trying, you would continue to feel get going in life.

Those were the 3 top tips to not be hard on yourself. Feel free to do what works for you. But do keep in your mind, you should be supportive of yourself in this journey of life rather than putting yourself down. Let others do that for you. And, meanwhile, you stay your best advisor, appreciator.