This is something many of you would relate to. And, this is what I personally still struggle with because I tend to work my better version delicately every single day, I like to reach out to the target, to be an achiever.
But it becomes negative when you need it so bad that this unnecessary pressure turns out to be a negative force in your life. It starts to bring you down and undoubtedly stop providing any kind of service to you.
Our outer world is a reflection of what’s going on within us because we project our own thoughts and feelings onto other people and events. We give it our own meaning. Remember, we can’t change other people, the past, or circumstances out of our control. All we can change is ourselves. Shift your focus back onto yourself and realize that you have the power to change your life. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/stop-being-hard-on-yourself-5-tips-for-learning-life-lessons/
How to stop being hard on yourself?
Firstly, self-criticism happens when you feel like you are not super productive, not giving your 100%, not feeling bad about not being on a growth pace. And, this is what puts that unnecessary guilt on yourself.
For example: if you went on a trip. Once, you are back you feel overwhelmed by all the words you had put off or put on hold for a while.
Secondly, it is so easy for all of us to get distracted by the highlights of the real-life we tend to see on social media. We all feel losing the game of social media at least in one aspect of our life.
This is one among many such reasons which make you beat yourself despite performing quite well in your life.
The reality check is:
Nobody is always gaining, winning, super productive, happy, joyous, supported, appreciated, being promoted, feeling like a show stopper.
It’s just that self-imposed judgment that you should be perfect and growing all the time which keep you from appreciating yourself and make you criticise yourself.
7 tips to deal with your self-criticism
1. Remember! We are our worst critic
Usually, you are the only to you whose criticism should mean something to you until you start being someone who only sees your flaws.
You should not be the one who emphasizes your flaws and blow them like a gigantic thing to deal with.
The solution sits with half in realizing that it’s ok to have a biased perspective about yourself. Because, if you become the destructive critic you could be hard on yourself, unnecessarily
And the other half is in realizing that the other people around you are also not perfect. They are also going through some struggles. Of course, everyone has their own stories and battles to fight with.
Learn to not judge yourself, not judge others. We could all be much happier if we judge less.
2. Understand! You have cycles in your life.
We all go through a cycle of ups and downs. You could have a cold stagnating winter as well as a warm growing summer.
Like earth, you also go through seasons of shedding, budding growing, and blooming.
Honour and embrace the cycles that you are not always going to be super productive, super creative, super amazing all the time. Because that would be like summer all the time.
You have to understand that you have the ups and downs of life. You are going to have the times to be slower to reflect upon yourself. And, kinda take rest a little bit before you show your better version to the world out there.
Understanding this concept is like digging deep into the notion of getting continuously with a cycle of taking birth from the cocoon to growing bigger, larger, and beautiful into a butterfly again and again.
Be honest to embrace the low points in your life as you embrace the high points in your life. Acknowledge that it is all-natural.
3. Ask yourself? What do I have now that I once wished for?
It’s simply remembering that you have achieved something in your life, you have things now that you have once dreamed of having.
By accepting your achievement in this present moment of your life you could build belief in yourself to visualize things today that you wish to possess in the future.
This practice is to remind yourself that you have already accomplished things that you could be proud of. And, you do possess the potential to achieve more because you already have a precedent set for that.
This would help you realize how far you have already come in your life. Everything you have today you never had before. So, there is a big probability of achieving what you don’t have today.
When you focus on the wins, victories you have, it would eventually boost your self-confidence, mood, enthusiasm, zeal, and energies to get going.
A sense of being proud of your accomplishments could make you realize that there is no need to be hard on yourself, there is no need to be your worst self-critic. If you keep trying, you would continue to feel get going in life.
Those were the 3 top tips to not be hard on yourself. Feel free to do what works for you. But do keep in your mind, you should be supportive of yourself in this journey of life rather than putting yourself down. Let others do that for you. And, meanwhile, you stay your best advisor, appreciator.